Goodbye, My Lover
by Phoenix II
Summary: StanKyle darkfic. Language, implied character death. Sonfic to the song of the same name by James Blunt. Please RR, I promise my inbox can handle it. In progress because if I get enough reviews, I might write a reaction chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Goodbye, My Lover

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyle and/or Stan. Luckily for Matt and Trey, they do. Face facts, gentlemen! Oh yeah, and James Blunt and his record label own the lyrics

Summary: Darkfic. Vignette. One-shot. Lots of Angst. Stan/Kyle songfic.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

I should have known better. I should have known much goddamn better. There was no way that this could happen. Look at what had happened to Garrison. He'd had his balls cut off, lost every lover that crossed his path, until he'd finally just hanged himself three years ago. All because no one in South Park wanted to have anything to do with a fag, much less accept a relationship between two.

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
_

It was very quiet in the house. I've always been the last one asleep. It hadn't helped, really, that my friends had always seemed to concoct schemes that required him to be up this late. Or, recently, that _he'd_ been here until early in the morning.

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
_

I'd probably loved him the first time I layed eyes upon him. Of course, I was way to young to know what it meant. We'd been so close growing up, and I don't know how many times he saved me from some horrible fate or another. I think I stopped counting after 27.

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
_

The first time we kissed was pretty much by accident. Cartman had gone off in support of gay-bashing and was spouting tons of anti-homosexual rhetoric that sounded like it came right off _The O'Reilly Factor_'s "Talking Points." He'd finally had enough of it, and got up to leave with me. As we turned to go, I opened my mouth to tell him what a bigoted lard-ass he was, and his lips met mine. Kenny fainted. Cartman screamed in terror. We both fled the cafeteria.

_So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
_

It escalated quickly. Within a week, we'd slept together. We didn't waste time defining tops or bottoms, we just went where our hearts and our hormones took us. Any spare moment was spent searching for a secluded spot. By now, Kenny was averaging a heart attack a day. He couldn't take it, poor kid.

_Took your soul out into the night.  
_

We made our commitment to our relationship on the hill outside town, under the stars one beautiful, yet frigid, night. We were convinced that there would be nothing stopping us, and eventually everyone would accept that the two most elegible boys in the South Park School District were no longer elegible, and had become bois.

_It may be over but it won't stop there,  
_

When his dad was killed in the accident, he shut me out. I couldn't even get him to look my way for about a week, and the one time he did, it was to spout another "Talking Point" that his being gay-worse, his being gay with ME-was responsible for God killing his dad.

_I am here for you if you'd only care.  
_

We haven't made love in over a month. He's close to sinking back into the Goth crowd. The moodiness. The depression. No humor left in his utterly ravagable body. Even Kenny's suggestion to the two of us that he just needs a hell of a fuck did nothing to bring out even a small grin. He actually came close to choking Kenny to death. After dying so many times, apparently he'd missed a memo.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
_

I had been completely commited to my promise to love him forever. He would be my other half. There would be a new meaning to the BFF acronym on the necklaces we wore.

_You changed my life and all my goals.  
_

I was almost ready to announce our love to the world. I'd been planning. It would have had to have been at a party, with plenty of hard liquor readily available. Small, but lavish. Exactly how we would've come out was something I was still working on. Though it probably wouldn't have been best to just pull back a curtain to reveal us going at it, I didn't want to be anti-climactic and just passionately kiss him in front of everybody. That struck me as too Godfather-esque.

_And love is blind and that I knew when,  
_

He told me that he wanted to be alone. Then he didn't even want to talk. No replys to my Instant messages, my text messages, my voice mails, my 'snail-mail' letters, my e-mails, notes in his locker, his gym locker, on his desk...he'd shut me out. He was blaming me-us-for his dad's death.

_My heart was blinded by you.  
_

He was my everything. He was my only. He will be my only. My first and only. God I love him.

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.  
_

My Best Friend Forever. My Boi Friend(yeah, totally not cliché and stereotypist) Forever. My Alpha and my Omega. The light of my life.

_  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me._

I'm going to miss you. I hope where I'm going I can find relief from you. I hope you miss me. I hope you miss me good, you son of a bitch(no offense, if your mom finds this). Who knows. Maybe we'll see each other again.

_  
I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
_

I know I will. Then again, I'll have a lot longer than you to dwell on it. If I can do anything of the sort where I go, of course. I might not be able to, and Kenny's not the best source of information on this.

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
_

Metaphorically, of course.

_I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.  
_

So I won't. You'll see me when you get home from the funeral, I guess. Why your dad wanted to be buried in South Dakota I have no fucking idea. Must be all the rocks._  
_

_Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.  
_

Goodbye, Stan Marsh. Thank Jehovah your stupid sister still has these pain pills for any problems with her headgear.

_  
And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bear my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me.  
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow_

Especially once I lose what's left of my shredded, tattered heart and soul.

Yours forever,

Love,

Kyle Broflovski

A/N: My first work in a while. It's what I get from reading way too much good Stan/Kyle. Read/Review. It's that time of year again, I have cookies!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: **still here, same as Ch. 1**

Summary: Kyle is found. Emotions are released. A reunion occurs. Please review.

Stan Marsh unlocked the front door to his house, escorting his still-sobbing mother to the kitchen and pouring her a cup of coffee. Loosening his tie and kicking off his shoes, Stan walked into his room to find his desk light on and a very familiar figure slumped over next to a piece of paper.

" Kyle?" he asked. His best friend-turned-lover didn't respond. Stan walked over to the desk and picked up the piece of paper.

" 'I should have known better,'" he began, reading it. "It was NOT a goddamn 'Talking Point,' Kyle!" he exclaimed, continuing on. "...especially once I lose what's left of my shredded, tattered heart and soul? Oh, no. Oh, shit, God no!" he screamed, looking down at Kyle. He looked like he was sleeping. But he was cold. Oh, so cold. No...not Kyle too!

Sharon Marsh looked up wildly as she heard the anguished screaming coming from Stan's room. Setting down her coffee mug, she ran upstairs into her son's room, finding him crying over a body. A body dressed in green pants, an orange coat, and that damn green hat that about five people in the whole damn town knew how to pronounce. Kyle Broflovski. Sharon paled instantly. Not again...her son had just lost a father, he didn't need to lose the only other male in his life that he cared for. Seeing a piece of paper flung errantly over by her son, she picked it up and began to read it.

" Why!" Stan screamed. " Damn you, Kyle, I didn't mean it! You're so goddamn smart, don't you think you'd know about depression after someone dies?" He was even trying to revive Kyle. Sharon set down the note and backed out of the room to call an ambulance.

In Heaven, Kyle was sitting in a conference room with Jesus and Moses. The two had been kind enough to show him what was going on with Stan as they explained to him why it's so bad to kill yourself. Kyle was almost on the verge of tears. He had completely forgotten about temporary depression. Stan was right. It was quite normal for someone who had lost a close loved one to become depressed, sad, emotional and hostile. Moses was saying something, but Kyle interrupted.

" Wait! Okay, okay, you win. I acted harshly, I shouldn't have done it. I think I've learned something today. Just because someone has something bad happen to them, doesn't mean they won't eventually get over it. I will accept whatever punishment you deem right," he said, as Stan started pummeling his chest, trying to revive him. Jesus looked at Moses and nodded, and suddenly Kyle could feel the blows, and hear Stan begging him to "be like Kenny, wake up! Kyle, I love you!" A bright light started shining, and Kyle closed his eyes until it dimmed. Stan was still performing "CPR."

He opened them just as Stan was about to pump more air into his lungs. Seizing upon a wicked thought, Kyle met Stan's lips and gave him a kiss hot enough to make nearby paper light on fire. Stan pulled back, shocked and mouth gaping. Kyle sat up and rubbed his chest.

" You asshole, that hurt," he quipped. Stan finally recovered enough to say, " How?" Kyle saw Jesus hovering outside the window. " I think we need to pay a visit to someone we haven't seen in a while." Jesus flashed him the "OK" sign and vanished just as Stan caught a glimpse and the paramedics rushed in, clearly expecting Kyle to be dead.

Kyle took control of the situation. " I need to go to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. Inside it, you should find roughly half a bottle's worth of pain pills, 500 mg. Let's go. Oh, and Stan needs to ride with me," he told the stunned paramedics, rising and dragging Stan out to the ambulance as the paramedics followed, stopping to collect Sharon Marsh, who fainted upon seeing Kyle walk out of the room alive.

A week later, after Kyle had been released from the hospital and passed a psychiatric exam, the two lovers had gone to visit Jesus, who hinted that there was a very good reason why Kyle had been returned to life, and that the two boys had better remember this experience well. That night, they lay in Stan's bed after a heated round of lovemaking, Kyle was asked by Stan how much he loved him.

" Dude, I KILLED myself for you," Kyle responded, ushanka askew, exposing a few curls of his fiery red hair for Stan to twirl in his fingers.

" I know, dude, but, how much do you _love_ me?" he asked. Kyle grinned, replying just before disappearing under the sheets, " Let me show you."

_FIN_

A/N: Think it was weird? Cheesy? Wondering how Moses fit himself into a conference room? Still want more? Well, this fic is over, but I've got a couple ideas for some more Stan/Kyle songfics and other slash stories betwixt the two sans any lyrical accompaniment. Look for these to come out(pun not intended), periodically over the next month or so. Reviews are always appreciated.

El autor


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